Making the invisible visible! Social withdrawal is a community issue, not an individual fault

An increasing number of Finns spend most of their lives alone at home, disconnected from education, work, and other people. They rarely appear in statistics or services. But they are online – and that is where they can be reached.

Social withdrawal, isolation, hikikomori – what is it about?

Social withdrawal refers to a situation in which a person has gradually withdrawn from social interaction, often for months or even years. In Finland, the phenomenon has been obscured by fragmented terminology: we speak of social exclusion, being outside working life, mental health challenges, or loneliness. In Japan, the same phenomenon has been studied for more than three decades under the term hikikomori, where it is understood primarily as the loss of a social role – as a person no longer feeling that they have a place in society.

Finland also has a long tradition of “back room boys” and “old maids.” The phenomenon is not new; it is as old as human social relationships themselves.

Social withdrawal is not primarily a mental health disorder to be treated, but a complex social phenomenon. It can be addressed through understanding, connection, and participation.

Why does the phenomenon remain hidden?

A withdrawn person does not seek help – they cope. Asking for help is difficult for many of us, and especially burdensome if there are multiple failed attempts, negative experiences with services, or a feeling of not belonging anywhere. A common thought is also that the situation is not “bad enough” to take help away from someone who might need it more. And when one finally does feel “bad enough,” the idea of physically going somewhere to tell a stranger about one’s situation can feel overwhelming.

As a result, these people remain unseen. They are not in unemployment statistics or service queues. They are invisible — but not gone. They are online.

The need for community can lead to the wrong place

A person longing for community and connection will find it somewhere. Online, there are communities that offer simple explanations to difficult questions: the cause of loneliness and exclusion is always found outside oneself, often in other groups of people. The so-called incel phenomenon is a well-known example.

It is important to distinguish between these things. Social withdrawal and, for example, misogyny are not the same, nor are they directly linked. However, the need for community is so strong that if the only available peer support comes from a community that fuels bitterness and exclusion, it will shape a person’s thinking. Genuine peer support leads elsewhere – to a place where a person is seen without needing to assign blame.

What do socially withdrawn people want?

Socially withdrawn people want the same things as everyone else: to be accepted, to belong, and to feel meaningful. They do not primarily want to be treated or hurried back into working life. They want a place where they can be themselves without performance pressure.

Change is possible if it does not have to be done alone. Even striving for employment becomes possible when the time is right – and when the person has been able to define their own goals.

When a supportive community forms around a person, confidence in oneself, others, and the future gradually begins to grow. This does not happen by “fixing” the individual, but by strengthening the social bonds around them. And it begins where people longing for community already are – in online communities.

The work starts with people, not the system

The Lost in the Net project by Settlement Tampere brings support to where withdrawn individuals already are. The Discord community hosts communal online activities every weekday, and for those interested, weekly face-to-face meetings are offered. For many, it is the first time in years they dare to be part of something as themselves, without roles.

When support is integrated into everyday environments, it becomes easier to accept. It is not enough for support to be available somewhere – it must also reach those who lack the strength or ability to seek it themselves.