Violence is one of the most significant risks to children’s health and wellbeing. Child welfare workers should ask the child and the parent about violence as part of assessing the child’s overall situation, even if the reason for using the services is not violence. It is important to take into consideration both violence against the child and the child’s exposure to violence between adults.
It may be difficult for children and adults to recognise the violence they have experienced, which is why asking directly about experiencing violence may not work. Especially with young children, increased suggestibility should also be taken into account. For example, the child may answer 'yes' or 'no' to questions to please the person asking them or because they do not understand the question.
The information on domestic violence gathered from different parties is often contradictory. It is not possible to be sure of the risks related to the child’s safety, but the employee should try to collect information systematically in order to obtain the best possible overall picture.
Interviewing the child
With their own actions, the child welfare worker creates a space in which the child can share their experiences. When the worker checks the understanding they have formed by listening to the child directly from the child, they also support the child’s agency and narration.
Questions formulated in different ways help to obtain different types of information. The child may be asked about their recollections of an individual event or about what they usually think is happening when the parents are having a row, for example. To avoid misunderstandings, the worker should be aware of the level at which the child talks about the matter. The questions can be formulated in different ways to direct the child to talk about individual or general recollections.
Example: The child says at a general level: "I'm always scared when Mum gets angry." The interviewer asks the child to specify their story by describing an individual event. For example, the interviewer may ask the child to talk about
- the last time Mum got angry: "When was the last time Mum got angry? Can you tell me what happened from the beginning to the end.”
- a time that the child remembers particularly well: "Is there a time that you remember particularly well? Tell me about it.”
Assessing the risk of violence on the basis of information from the child
Reflect on the child’s situation through the risk factors listed below
Risk factors of violence
Risk factors help to form an understanding of what key issues related to the risk of violence there is knowledge of and what more information should still be obtained about when assessing the child’s situation. The aim is to identify factors related to the child’s life that increase the risk of violence against the child, especially factors concerning relationships between the family members. Conversely, each risk factor is a protective factor.
A single risk factor or its absence alone does not reveal whether the child has experienced violence or not.
When you select one of the below risk factors for violence, example questions will be displayed that support you in assessing the area in question. The child’s narration is best supported by using open questions. First, always ask as openly as possible. For example: "Can you tell me about how you feel when people in your family are angry." If open-ended questions are difficult for the child, you can help the child with a specifying question and then return to open-ended questions.
The interviewer must listen to what words the child uses and whether the child uses the same words. A child may be accustomed to using the word "cross" instead of "angry". The interviewer must also determine what the child means with the word and use the word in question.
The words “Mum/Dad” are used in the example questions, but the questions can also be applied to, for example, the relationship between siblings or a parent’s partner. In addition, all persons living in the family (including siblings) or visiting adults other than the persons who have custody of the child, such as dating partners, must be taken into account.
The questions are only examples from which you can select the most suitable ones for the situation. You are not meant to use all of them with the same child.
Risk factors of violence
"Can you tell me what kind of things or situations scare you at home/in daycare/at school?" If such an open way of asking questions is difficult for the child, you can also ask the following questions: “Are there situations at school/daycare centre/home where you don't feel safe/where you are scared”
If the child answers yes, continue asking more openly: "Tell me about those situations. Tell me what happens in those situations. Tell me what happened last time in a situation like that."
"Does Mum/Dad/another family member do something that doesn’t feel safe to you?" If the child answers yes, continue asking more openly: "Tell me about those situations. Tell me what happens in those situations. Tell me what happened last time in a situation like that."
"Does Mum/Dad do something that you're scared of when you're with her/him?" If the child answers yes, continue asking more openly: "Tell me about those situations.”
You can ask an older child more directly: "What have you last been scared of? What are you scared of? How often are you scared?"
"What do you do when you're scared? Who knows that XX thing/situation scares you? How do they know? What does (person's name) do when you are scared? What would help you not be scared?"
"What at home helps you calm down if you are cross/angry? Can someone help you then? How? What makes you feel better at home if you're sad? Can someone help you then? How? What does Mum/Dad do when you are feeling angry/sad? How does Mum/Dad help you with the anger?"
"How do people have a row at home? Tell me about a situation where your Dad/Mum is angry. Tell me about how you feel when people in your family are angry." What happens when Dad/Mum/another family member is angry? What does Mum/Dad do/say when she/he is angry/having a row?
How do you feel when Mum/Dad is angry? What do you think about when Mum/Dad is angry? What do you do when Mum/Dad/another family member is angry?"
"Tell me about the rules/punishments at home/in your family." If this does not work, ask: "What kind of rules are there at home? What kind of punishments are there at home? Tell me about a situation where you have broken the rules at home or done something that your parents have not liked. What happens when you do something your parents don’t like/you break the rules at home? What happens if you don’t follow the rules? What happens if you don't do what your Mum/Dad says?”
If the parents meet each other in the child handover situation, you can ask what these situations are like and what happens during them. You can also listen to the child and try to make out whether the child can talk about one parent freely to the other one. For example, whether the child can talk to the other parent about what they did at the other parent’s the previous week?
"How do you keep in touch with your Dad/Mum when you are in your other home?"
Check the social welfare client information system for any previous child welfare notifications or other records of neglect of care or violence against the child.
"What does Dad do when he is angry with Mum? What does Mum do when she's angry with Dad?
What do you do then? How do you feel then? How do you know that Dad is angry with Mum? How do you know that Mum is angry with Dad? What happens then? What happens after that?"
If the interviewer notices some of the examples below in what the child says, they can assume that they already know a great deal about the safety of the relationships between the child and the family members.
- the child is afraid of the dark and spiders at home and says the mother is good at taking the fear away
- the child can talk openly about their fears and concerns to the family members
- the child turns to a parent in situations such as when there are problems in relationships with friends
- the child thinks the worst thing that can happen in an upbringing situation is that Dad bans playing online
- the child says that matters are discussed angrily at home but then they apologise
- there is no information or record of previous violence against the child or violence that has otherwise occurred in the family.
Mapping the risk of violence within the family on the basis of information from a parent
Information on the child’s situation must be considered through the following risk factors. They help you form an understanding of what you already know and what more information should still be obtained about. It is important to consider the risk factors from the perspective of all adults close to the child (biological and bonus parents, and possible foster parents).
In a discussion with the parent, try to work out whether the parent is able to reflect on a specific situation or matter from the child’s perspective and whether the parent tries to reflect on how the child might experience it. Can the parent understand that the child has experienced a situation differently from how the parent experienced it?
Matters such as using an interpreter may make it more difficult to work out the parent’s ability to mentalise. It should also be noted that, in addition to an insufficient ability to mentalise, a fear or lack of knowledge of using child welfare services may lead the parent to play down the harmfulness of something to the child in the discussion.
"Tell me what kind of child/baby you have. What is your baby/child like?” (Further questions if the parent finds it difficult to start: "Children are all different. How does your child resemble other children, how is the child different from others?") "How would you describe your relationship with your child? How do you think the child finds your relationship?"
Listen to the parent’s story about the child and how the parent seems to perceive the child.
"How do you act in a stressful situation with the child? For example, in transitions, such as coming home and leaving home, waking up and going to bed, taking the child to the daycare centre and picking the child up from there. How do you feel when the child is in a bad mood/does not want to put on outdoor clothes in the morning/your baby wakes you up at night? What do you do? Have you ever lost your temper in that situation? What do you do/how do you act if you lose your temper? What is the worst thing you have done when you have lost your temper?"
"Describe the latest situation in which you felt angry with your child. What happened and how did you deal with this feeling? How was it visible to your child?"
"How do you feel about saying no or setting limits to your child? How do you think your child experiences these situations?”
"Do you feel safe when the child is with the other parent/xx? How would you describe the child’s relationship with xx?"
If there are concerns about the relationship between the child and the other parent, specify what exactly these concerns are. Take the possible custody dispute into account.
"Can you leave the siblings at home by themselves? How do the siblings quarrel? Do the quarrels between the siblings cause concern and an unsafe feeling (between the siblings, but also in relation to adults)? Are you worried that your children will start quarrelling if you leave them at home by themselves? If you are worried, what are you worried about (are you afraid of physical confrontations between siblings or something else)? Have you ever feared for your own safety if your child gets angry or you set limits for the child? Have you ever feared for someone else's safety in situations where your child gets angry?"
You can ask about a parent’s withdrawal in the following way, for example: “Sometimes, the parent may want to step aside and let go in situations that evoke a lot of emotions. Do you recognise anything like this?"
"Do you have any thoughts that you have been worried about?" If the parent suffers from anxiety or depression, you can ask how they find the anxiety/depression affects being with the child/baby. "Is it sometimes difficult for you to be close to the child/baby because of your anxiety?"
You can also ask specifying questions about how the parent’s anxiety/depression/other symptom affects their interaction with the child/baby, provision of care, management of their own negative feelings when the child is in a bad mood/the baby cries, their patience in evening/morning activities/meal situations/when leaving for daycare, and so on.
Parents can be asked how well they think they share the parenting. “Where were the decisions on the child’s housing, right of access and maintenance made? How did co-parenting work before/after the divorce? Are there challenges in co-parenting? How well have you been able to talk together about the child’s affairs?”
How do you think situations should be solved when the child has broken agreed rules or is misbehaving? How does your family solve situations where the child has broken agreed rules or is misbehaving? What do you do when the child does something that is now allowed or otherwise makes you angry? For example, have you ordered the child to go somewhere to calm down or sent the child to their own room? Threatened to send the child away from home? Called the child stupid, lazy, or something similar? Shouted or yelled to the child? Grabbed/shaken/slapped the child/pulled the child’s hair/pushed/spanked the child?
“Have you been offered support for the situation of your family/children? Who can provide support for your family's everyday life if necessary?”
When listening to what the parent tells you, try to work out if the family has someone they can contact in challenging situations or do they only have their own strength and coping to rely on.
Mapping the violence between the parents and the child's exposure to violence
Information about the situation of the parents or the whole family must be considered through the below risk factors. They help you to form an understanding of what you already know and what you should still obtain more information about to map the violence between the parents. Research has identified the following issues as risk factors for domestic violence.
1. Experiences of maltreatment and trauma in a parent’s childhood
Children who have seen and experienced domestic violence in their childhood are more likely to use violence themselves as adults or experience violence in their relationships. Experiences of violence also multiply the risk of the parent’s violence against their own child.
2. The stress factors currently experienced by the parent, such as
- stress or a crisis
- pregnancy
- a stressful family situation (e.g., a child with special needs)
- financial difficulties
- physical problems
- risky use of substances
- mental health problems
- a criminal background
- a divorce or separation.
3. Violence in a parent’s intimate relationship
4. The child's exposure to violence between adults
If a child lives in a family where a family member behaves violently, they are exposed to all harmful effects of violence. Even if the violence is not targeted at the child directly, a violent atmosphere causes fear and insecurity.
Asking about violence between adults
Bringing up of violence in the discussion should always take place in a confidential and safe situation where the parent’s partner or the children are not present. Telling about violence is difficult because of the shame associated with it, for example. It may be difficult to identity experiences of violence because of the diversity of violence, and violence quickly becomes a “normal part of life”. In an intimate relationship, people may encounter offensive or frightening treatment, physical or sexual violence or financial abuse. Because of the diversity of violence, you can start asking questions about violence, for example, with the following questions:
- "How do you have a row at home? What do you say and do when you have a row? Can both of you freely express your thoughts without feeling a threat?"
- "Do you feel safe at home? Are there situations at home that you have found scary?"
- "Has anyone close to you ever been violent to you? Does it affect your life now?"
- "Is there currently any violence (physical, psychological or sexual violence or maltreatment) in your close relationships?"
If someone has sometimes been or is currently violent against the parent, the assessment questions in the form for mapping and screening domestic violence (in Finnish) can be used to assess domestic violence. The form contains descriptions of different forms of violence and provides instructions for further action in situations involving domestic violence.
If there is violence between the parents or in other relationships in the family, it is a good idea to find out from the parents what they know about the child’s exposure to this violence. “Where is the child usually during violent situations/where was the child during a specific situation? What did the child do during a specific situation/what does the child usually do? Does the child intervene/try to protect themselves/protect someone else, such as a sibling?" "What do you think as a parent, does the child find those situations frightening? Has the child been asked about it or how do you know this? Do you talk about the violence or loud arguments with the child afterwards?"